Come Into His Presence

John was now coming into a time when he could begin to spread his wings. He was experiencing the verse, "Those that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint." How did John enter into this grace? It was a simple but profound truth. The illumination was based on two verses. The first verse was, "Come unto Me all ye that are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn of Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart and I will give you rest unto your soul." My other verse was the command, "Pray without ceasing." John learned that he could be in a continuing state of coming to Me with his heart in fellowship. Truly I want all of My children to "Walk in the Spirit." Is this way of walking not found in the verse, "If you abide in Me and My Word abides in you. You shall ask what you will and it shall be done unto you." Truly I am waiting for all to come. It's not a one time thing, but a desire to continually to come with boldness to My throne of grace. John was on a path to My renewing presence as I manifest Myself to him in his daily life. "Truly I am the Bread of life, He that cometh to Me shall never hunger and he that believeth on Me shall never thirst." John would begin to have a clearer sensitivity as to when he is walking in My Spirit. John could have a song in his heart and upon his lips.

Another Promise

There are many promises that My people leave not received. A Key one is relating to My will. If you ask anything according to My will, I will hear you. If you know that I hear you, you know you will receive what you asked of Me. John applied this promise eight years ago. He understood it was My will to be pure. He asked for My will to be done in this area. From that point on victory in this began. John walked more and more days in a purer way. John realized, just recently, there was something He could ask for that was My will. He asked that He might learn to love others like I loved him. This opened John’s heart to dwell on My love. Truly this love can meet John’s fears and give John a conscious desire to walk in a love like mine. Truly this is My will for all. Will you also ask for this? John: Come Lord Jesus, Come

A Further Hope

As John pondered the grace I could provide him. He began to understand that it was not all about himself. As my verse says: Galatians 2:20 “I am crucified with Christ nevertheless I live, yet not I, but Christ liveth in me.” Another great answer was My promise: “In everything give thanks for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” As John applied this verse to his life he discovered more and more joy. Truly to be in the center of My will is found in a heart of thanksgiving. Another area of spiritual growth was the development of My armor. John used memorized Scripture to provide for all the pieces of this armor. My helmet of salvation was My foundational truth. “Christ died for your sins, was buried and rose again on the third day according to the Scripture.” My breastplate guarded John’s heart. What greater protection is there than that of a thankful heart? Again, “In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus.” The lions were girded up to help John run well. My verse was: “Those that wait upon the Lord shall mount upon with wings as eagles, they shall run and not grow weary, they shall walk and not faint.” For the feet were shod with the gospel of peace. “How beautiful are the feet of them that bring Good News.” The shield of faith was centered on My faithfulness to John. “He that began a good work in you shall perform it till the day of Jesus Christ” The final weapon was the “Sword of My Spirit,” which is the word of God. This is “My Word” applied to a specific situation. One of My greatest was: “My grace is sufficient for thee, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” My final thoughts for John were, “John, you have My Word on it,” and the simple but powerful truth is “I love you and I’ve given myself for you.”

The Answer Is No

I lead John into a trail of faith that would challenge him to mature in a greater way. It would help him to find more peace and rest. It also would help him when it comes to Spiritual Warfare. The trial started as John was challenged to memorize the first chapter of James by his pastor. One of the beginning verses he learned was: James 1:2 “My Brethren, count it all joy when you fall into diverse temptations(trials). Knowing this that the trying of your faith worketh patience, let patience have it’s perfect work that you might be perfect (mature) and entire wanting nothing.” Truly if John could learn this truth in a deeper way greater things could happen. Psalm 61:2 says: When my heart is overwhelmed; lead me to the rock that is higher than I. In this trial John’s faith would be overwhelmed. The main point of the trial begins a few days earlier to when John was supposed to speak at a presentation for a group called NAMI (National Alliance for the Mentally Ill). John and his sister were going to share about their experience about recovery. Cindy and John both wanted to testify of Me that night. The trial started for John as he thought about speaking at the group. He started finding himself more and more anxious. John and some medicine designed for his panic attacks. This medicine normally worked when it was applied. This was not true during the strength of this attack. At one point during the trial John told me, “I believe that you died on the cross for me, but I have no more faith.” John was at the end of his faith. He would discover that My faith was still there. Shortly after John said he had no more faith I allowed him to have an sense My presence was departing. It lasted for about three minutes. John tasted a fear of Me. That brought him back to faith. It was like a defibrillator going off. By this John realized that I loved him enough to discipline him. John had renewed faith, but the severe anxiety was still growing. John battled the day of the presentation. The anxiety was to the point of exhaustion. John tried to counter with verses he had learned, but those did not help either. John’s parents thought John was falling apart. They wondered why John would put himself in such a position. John’s sister Cindy showed up. She was ready to share to the group. Even though this was so hard. John decided that he would still try to share. On the way there I opened John’s understanding that not only did he want to do this, but he wanted to do it for My honor and My glory. This thought released John from his anxiety and lead him to a place of peace. Both Cindy and John presented their illness, as well as their faith. This deliverance would be something John could base his recovery on. He will remember that I showed up. Another truth that came out of this happened the next day. John went to his counselor that helped him to deal with his panic attack. John told of his build up to severe anxiety. The counselor wondered why he had tortured himself this way. She suggested that John could say “No” to himself. John later realized the verse “Resist the Devil and he shall flee. Draw nigh unto God and He shall draw nigh unto thee.” John learned that not only could he say “No” to himself, but to Satan. Truly when it comes to faith “No” is the word Satan hates to hear.

You Shall Know The Truth

After receiving the understanding that John could say “No” to the enemy. John found himself in another spiritual battle. John sincerely desired to be used and to be in My frontline battles. Recently John and his sister Cindy had another opportunity to share before a group of family members of those with mental illness. John and Cindy shared hope for them. Hope through medicine and the hope that was found in Me. John was continuing to work through the verse in James. John pondered and desired to apply the verse. Again the verse is: My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into diverse temptation. Knowing that the trying of your faith works patience, let patience have her perfect work that you might be perfect and entire wanting nothing. Truly the word perfect in the verse was to be mature in Me. I allowed John again to come to the center of the battle. John would need to walk by faith, not knowing the right path. He would need to acknowledge Me for the answer, even though He could not grasp what was true and what was not. The enemy told John if he were truly saved he would not doubt. John forgot about My promise, “When you are faithless, I am faithful.” The enemy lead John down a path of confusion. Since John doubted, Satan said he needed to do something different to be saved. He trapped John with a concept that he had never called upon Me to be his Savior. This was the first lie. John had truly called upon Me years earlier. Someway the enemy convinced John he needed to be saved also from the Law. The enemy even used Scripture to back the thought up. John received the lie and in a sense he received another spirit. Satan then lead John down a path that he must fully understand that he was never saved and that the poetry was not from Me. To walk this path he must destroy all things relating to the poetry gift I had given John. The trap was laid. John could not discern what was the truth and what was a lie. John called upon Me for the answer. John acknowledged that He would trust in Me and not lean on his own understanding. This “new” spirit wanted to lead John away from the Bible and even not to go to church. This all happened on a Saturday night. John woke up the next day still in the conflict. John fought through the conflict and desired to go to church. As I lead John to go to church, John received a thankful heart. John battled through the service and Bible class afterward. After this John got alone with Me in the sanctuary. As he prayed I lead him to this verse: They over came him(Satan) by the blood of the Lamb and the word of this testimony and that they loved not their lives, even unto death. John’s eyes were now open to the Truth. Satan, also wanted to destroy the poetry so that couldn’t witness of Me. Satan, also knew that if he could get John to destroy it. John could not use it as a word of testimony to fight against Satan. The very thing Satan wanted was the opposite of what I wanted. John thought about the blood that I had given for him. He thought of confessing his sins and how My blood could cleanse him of all his sin. John claimed My blood as John’s righteousness. If John could see clearly he could know that the poetry was a gift from Me. It could be used for others to grow in Me and to find Me. John now realized that Satan had a stronghold in his life. The stronghold was now coming down. After 30 years, John clearly knew that he had truly been forgiven all along. All of My Scriptures were now solid to rest upon now. John began to put down the fears, by calling them what they were illusions and lies. The truths I had been teaching John were now fully his. Truly you shall know My truths and they will set you free.

A Message from John, Himself

This has been a story of how God is leading me to a place of assurance. Truly my story is not one of my great faith, but a true story of God’s faithfulness. God has led me from Valleys to Mountaintops, as well as Deserts to Oasis. I am thankful for the poetic gift. By it God has made me feel special and by His grace I can share the lessons He has taught me along the way. If there is anything I have learned is that God is good and ready to forgive and plenteous in mercy unto all that call upon Him. Time and time again He has answered this prayer. Truly we are called to get up one more time then we fell. Fellowship the Father is our greatest joy. The song will return as we are refilled with the Spirit. For God’s Word says in Ephesians 5:8b and 9: But be filled with the Spirit speaking to yourselves with Psalms, Hymns, and Spiritual Songs, singing and making melody in your hearts to the Lord. We may think the most important thing is to not to fall. This is not true, the most important thing is that we get up and are restored unto fellowship. For without Christ in our heart we are unable to do anything. That is why restored fellowship is so needed. We need the faith of Jesus to be restored again. For with the faith of Jesus we are able to please the Father. For by His faith we are able to come to the Father and find the reward in Christ Jesus our Lord. Blessings From John

My Final Thoughts

Since I had finished writing my book. God has led me to an amazing answer to my struggle for deliverance and assurance. After 31 years I am free to trust Christ in fullness. I have received the verse. Isaiah 26:3 Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on Thee: because He trusts in Thee. After a long period of doubt, I discovered that some of my faith was hindered by legalism. I had heard of the term, but never applied it totally to myself. I came to a point where I was totally hindered by being double minded. My faith was not a complete faith. I asked my Pastor for counsel. He recognized what I was doing wrong. I was dwelling on my salvation experience to prove I was saved. I was also trying to prove my faith to myself because of my poetry I had written. Both things were good, but I made the mistake of looking to these for my assurance. My Pastor revealed to me that double mindedness came from the desire to try trusting something other than Christ. He simply said, "Trust Christ." The two words stuck in my mind and my heart. Don't trust your salvation experience and don't trust your gift of poetry. Don't trust your part in salvation. Just Trust Christ. As I worked through this, I let go of the things I was using to prove to myself my salvation. Again the answer was to trust Christ and what he had done. The solution was found when I called on God for deliverance. Again the words rang true "Trust Christ." The next day lead me to not only trust Christ, but also trust Christ's love. I found myself complete as this last step was applied. I don't understand the spiritual ramifications of this "I just know to trust Christ" After my deliverance from double mindedness, I can look upon my Savior with a full faith. For I trust in Christ and His love. I can trust in Christ's Word and His Cross. Truly this assurance is a great gift from my Lord. May I go forth in boldness of faith. May I share the name and face of my God, the Lord Jesus Christ. Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.